Crap about crap

As far as no one is really here.

So.
Today.
I'm really boring and I can't talk to people. And very particular people.
It all just gets complicated right after I open my mouth.
And I constantly regret I said it, and I constantly add some new stupid thought and it only gets worse.
It always does.

I'm a mess. I know. Everybody knows.

and today I feel it especially hard as I start wondering what is next?
I'm 19 and I'm alone and I can't talk to people.

We always have barriers, and they are my mind's paths, illogical and gloom.
I can't help the way I think.
Can't help my only true feelings.
Can't help the way I am.
I am me.
Too bad you notice only sad sides.

I dream about being able to speak whatever is there inside, and never being punished for some tiny thing said.
I dream to confess
And i dream not to be rejected
Not to be alienated.
To be taken somewhere
Not to be the responsible for all the mess entertainer

I want someone to notice me